Come On, Put Your Back Into It

I've realized that my funds have finally depleted and now it's time to find a job and work like everyone else has to. Oh well, it was fun while it lastest. I should have been more careful with it, but nows not the time to occupy my mind with such things in the past. I have to focus on the future at hand and try to save it before it's too late.

Something seems to finally have clicked in my head. A few days ago, a burst of productive hyper energy caused me to tidy up my room and urged me to start thinking up art ideas to draw for my class. I found a clever way to prop up the ginormous paper and board I have to work with in my room and began visualizing. Unfortunately, now the problem is finding a way to get the ideas that have finally started to leak in, onto the paper. I don't know where to start or how to go about it, and when I do try, it doesn't come out right. The dilemmas have no end, it seems.

I also attempted to start studying for Anthropology and the likes. It seems I'm going to actually start doing work again. Monday I even went to the gym with Marcy, and will be going again today after class and after my second Psychologist appointment. I'm still iffy on those.....all I do is talk about myself, and it's strange and a rather unnatural setting to be doing that in. And I don't like the kind of reactions she gives.....I don't exactly know why, but I do. Maybe it's the way she sounds so sympathetic and "concerned" and the terms she uses like "that sounds like it was very hurtful". I dunno. Call me weird, but something about it irks me.

As a temporary resolution to my lack of funds, and to try keeping myself busy to make myself get focused and down to business, I've decided to get a simple-minded part time job on the weekends during the remainder of school and then switch to a better job for the rest of the summer. I started to apply at my first place last night......dear god I don't know why I'm doing it, but I am. Being a cashier or service desk rep at Wal-Mart sounds pretty simple to do for money. Even though it's the abhorred Wal-Mart I'd be selling my soul to. You know, for being so desperate for workers and for their reputations, they sure do have long and picky sounding applications. I had to have been at the computer for at least 30 minutes, if not more, and I still have like 50 questionnaire questions left to answer on the blasted thing. Babysitting would be my most ideal choice, I think, but my dad was like "omg no they could sue you if something happens!" etc etc and I'm guessing getting a babysitting job around here will probably be rather difficult.

*sighs* Wow....I totally just spaced out for about 15 to 20 minutes there......stupid crazy Mogwai songs....Ok well, I don't remember what I was talking about anymore, and I'm actually sorta sleepy even though it's only about to be 2 am so I'm off to read about human sexuality and think about more drawing ideas since I need to create a portfolio of sorts by the last week of classes.....x_x

Wish me luck with all my work!