The Dilemma

Stay awake or go to sleep?
Stay awake…
Go to sleep…
Stay awake. Go to sleep.
Get up and move.
Lay down and dream.
Which?
Which??
Which…
I can’t decide.
Stay awake, or go to sleep.
I feel sick. I can’t decide.
It’s 7 am and I want someone to call me.
I want to hear someone’s voice. Ramble about some incoherent, abstract thing… if just for a moment.
Then, then maybe I could make up my mind.
Stay awake or go to sleep?
I’m too tired to stay awake, and I’m too awake to be tired.
Something has to be done… my mind needs some sort of release.
It’s so bad my physical body starts to feel sick.
The sun is already up. I can see the white light glowing from behind my curtains and blinds.
It just adds to the timelessness of this moment and its ultimatum.
Stay awake.
Go to sleep.
Choose.
I think I’ll try to sleep, though I’ll stay awake as long as I can, waiting for the phone call, which will never come. Or maybe it will…but it’ll be too late for me to hear it from within the dreams engulfing my existence.
I go to purge myself and prepare for the immersion into the abyss.
Who knows what dreams may come?