Make a Wish, Leave it, and Jump.

I have a weird crazy collaboration Blog with Marcy here. We'll see what comes of it.

I'm sick (again). No surprise there. Spent the whole day in bed for the most part....and I've felt groggy and horrid the rest of the time. I wish I wasn't so susceptable(sp?) to these things...It would make life much more enjoyable...and hell, I'd probably be a different person.

This afternoon, at early sunset, my mother started calling for me and my brother out of the blue. Annoyingly I yelled back, asking what she wanted, and she replied with "hurry up and come see before they're gone! Meteors!"
Of course, I lept off my bed, leaving my laptop abandoned upon my pillow, and shuffled over to the big backyard sliding glass door/window. Sure enough, there were a pair of meteors streaking through the sky, long firey white tails trailing behind trying to keep up. They were next to each other, but one was faster and farther ahead than the other. It was very pretty, with the pastel purples and oranges and pinks of the sunset as the backdrop. I ran back into my room to IM Marcy and Yany about it, as to not hog the spectacle, but sadly when I came back to stare some more, only one of them remained visible. By the time I got on a pair of jeans and my camera in tow to go outside and attempt to record it or take some photographs, not a trace of either remained. I never even thought to make a wish.

I still haven't finished writing the letter or wrapped and packaged the things the letter will accompany....I said I was going to mail it at least 2 weeks ago by now. I definately need to do that by this weekend.

I need to start editing and printing photos from my computer...and taking more pictures...and finding old ones...to start working on the scrapbook I plan to make. I spent at least $50 or so probably on supplies....the book, scissors, glitter, markers, pens, different colored papers and decorations, glues, tape, photo-printer paper, etc. I don't know where to start though. I guess middle school since that's the first era I have any pictures for. But I really shouldn't bother with that until I have time...which probably won't be until after this semster is over. I have to focus on artwork for my art class and work for my other classes to stay afloat.

I wish I were a much more spontaneous and worry-free person. I wish I weren't so paranoid and more confident. I wish I wasn't afraid of the worst that could happen. I wish I could just get on the stupid roller coaster and grit my teeth. I wish I could just jump instead of standing there and weighing all the consequences and dangers. Though, it's not always such a bad thing to do. My need and affection of being in control of things as much as possible can be a nuissance. Maybe that's an overstatement of how I really am. Probably is, but that doesn't matter.

It feels like its 6 or 7 am, but its really only 1 am. Strange.....It feels like when I look at my window there should be soft morning light filtering through the Venetian Blinds.

I'll be up much of the night working..or trying to work on Human Sexuality homework. Those journals snuck up on me again. This time I really have to do them though. And I will. Even if I don't go to class tomorrow, they will be turned in by Thursday, no matter what. I can't keep on doing this. I've gotta buckle down and focus, bite the bullet, jump.

I wonder if there's still hope for me. I wonder if it just turns out I'm a different person than I thought all these years, and this isn't the sort of life I'm suited for. Either way, I've got to either find that wall blocking me and destroy it at its foundation, or find a way to get over or around it, and come back to it later, if necessary. It can't be an issue for me anymore....it's ruined too much, taken too much from me. It can't be allowed to take more or else I'm royally screwed.

Sunday we finally went to the Renaissance Festival, though we arrived terribly late....at 4:30pm when the whole thing closes at 6 pm. But, we dressed up and ran around for that hour and a half and decided next weekend it is absolutely necessary to come at 10 am and stay the whole day, and to put together better costumes. I bought a waist cincher of a beautiful dark purple and black brocade pattern....wonderfully overpriced at $40, but I, for some reason, felt a need to throw away my money there. Oh well. I'll wear it to The Castle and the likes.
I bought a beautiful corset on sale at Fredrick's that would be perfect for the Ren. Fest. with its gold and black colors and design, but its a bit small.....meaning that the lacing in the back is pretty spaced out and i dont think it looks quite right. I can buy one that fits properly from Charlotte Russe like I did the black one for less than this one anyway. Yany might buy it off me..if not, back it goes unfortunately. It amused me very much to find a matching g-string attached to it's side.


Umm......that'll be all for now...I've got to get working on those journal things.